Miles Lloyds Super Sexy Internet Accidents of 2014!

Oh, hello! I didn’t see you there, please, step into what most of you believe to be some weird sex dungeon. That’s right! It’s that time where I tell you all the weird sex things people have been searching my blog for thinking they’re searching Google. Oh, how I love your foolish, foolish mistakes. Some of you are right dirty perverts though, I must say. What I can’t work out though is why you’d be reading some of my posts and then you immediately go looking for absolutely disgusting porn.

False-Flag Nuclear Attacks & an Elephant That Sounds Like my Nan.

I feel really sorry for the US government. For at least ten years they’ve planned on invading Syria this month to fulfill their weird ambitions and now, thanks to God-damn peaceful means, they have to find any old excuse to start on Iran. (And in case any of you were wondering, Yes, that was a copy/paste of a Facebook status update I did two days ago.)

I’v Been on the Internet All Morning and Not a Cat in Sight or: War! War, War, War! and Secrets!

Good news, everyone! Somebody won big brother and somebody took photographs of somebodies baby. Finally, we can relax. Jokes! We can’t relax. The media have always had this tendency to dress up mundane stories to look like something far more important than it actually is in a quest to avoid letting any actually important news slip through the net, and today I found out something that’s a bit fucked up.

Me, My Bone & Badgers in Space

I was going to write a blog about water getting stolen off of us by oil companies the other day, but that went to shit when I had to go to hospital. I was punched, or possibly fell, and now my shoulder hurts. Apparently I’ve “bruised the bone” according to the doctor, but I don’t believe him one bit. Call me racist but I just cannot trust a white doctor, let alone an English doctor. Is that racist? Probably not. I’d trust an English doctor of Asian decent (any kind of Asian), but not a straight-up English doctor. Unless they’re a hot English woman. Then they can have some of my trust. Hot women have never let me down.

Hey, Racist! Read This! or; I Can play the Keyboard Now.

So some dude got killed in London today, eh? Not very shocking, I know. But the man was a soldier and he was killed… by terrorists! Duh-duh duh! This, I see, has apparently given everyone on Facebook and Twitter free-roam on the ignorant racism train and it’s not got no breaks! Now, I’m not one to force my opinions onto someone. Unless I had a dog or something. You kinda have to teach a dog how to live like not shit in the kitchen and that, but you know what I mean. I just want to make a point that I can’t understand so many people don’t realise.

“The Great Escape”? More Like “Living the Dream at the Taxpayers Expense”

Holla back, Gurl! How’s it going? I really want to complain about something but I can’t think of what’s pissing me off at the moment. There’s probably something. There’s always something. I really do love a good moan. I don’t know what it is, but something about moaning about other people’s stupid opinions really does make my day. But I cannot currently recall what pisses me off.

Who’s the Bigger Bastard? Women or MTV? Pete is Lovely though.

What a fucking bitch! Guess what, readers? It’s that time again! I’ve been fucked over by a girl…  for the same reasons as last time! Luckily for me this newest addition wasn’t as awesome as the last one, so I’m not as much hurt as I am fucking pissed off.. And she had the cheek to reply to my questionings with a ‘haha’ A fucking ‘haha’! I’m livid. Fucking livid.

This is all good for you though, because when I’m angry or upset you seem to want to read more. I guess that’s kinda a plus for me, too. Every cloud and that!

It’s harsh though, init? Leading someone on who you know likes you and the entire time you’ve been planning to get with some other dude. I’m kinda getting sick of being nice. I’m starting to wish I was a dick when it came to relationships too as everyone else seems to be. You know who I blame? MTV. From now on, I’m probably going to blame them for everything. Except every war from the 50’s on. That was, and always will be, ‘Murica. But I don’t blame ‘Muricans for it, so calm down. Well, obviously I do blame ‘Muricans for it. There’s always ‘Muricans in charge. Except your current one. fuck knows where he was born. I don’t even think he knows. Some say Kenya. I say probably. But you know what I mean.

MTV probably help with the wars though, they make kids thick as shit so they don’t know what their doing and blindly sign up for the army. Yeah! I found a reason, loose as it might be, to blame MTV for all the wars.

I love italics! So much! you can’t do it Twitter or Facebook. the closest you can get is capitals and capitals make it look like you’re shouting. I don’t want to shout. I just want to get my point across. Although shouting can sometimes be a good way to do that. Just ask ‘Murica. Or MTV.