Oh, hello! I didn’t see you there, please, step into what most of you believe to be some weird sex dungeon. That’s right! It’s that time where I tell you all the weird sex things people have been searching my blog for thinking they’re searching Google. Oh, how I love your foolish, foolish mistakes. Some of you are right dirty perverts though, I must say. What I can’t work out though is why you’d be reading some of my posts and then you immediately go looking for absolutely disgusting porn.
You’d have to find it a bit flattering though, how people will read all your funny little posts and then get turned on. But why? I’ve never read any comedy then thought “Boy-oh-boy, was that funny! So funny I have to wank myself off!” It is mind boggling. Maybe though, and this is just a maybe, only men read my blog. Chicks just look at that sexy picture of me until they’ve gotten the horn, then go look for lesbian porn? That can’t be right. By the way, most of the porn searches have been lesbian orientated as you are about to find out. So, without further ado, let’s check out Miles Lloyds Super Sexy Internet Accidents of 2014 so far!
1. Kim and nikki lesbians – Now, I know what you’re thinking, “This isn’t so weird,” and yes. You’re right. this isn’t such a weird thing to search for, except it’s been searched for a few times. That means one of you dirty dogs has a fetish for reading my blog then watching Kim and Nikki lez off and that’s a bit weird.
2. lesbian sound of fuckin – I think this gentleman/men (it’s been searched thrice) meant to type 2the sound of lesbians fucking” but I can forgive him for the grammar. Maybe he’s one of my foreign readers, which would answer a lot. None-the-;ess though, once again my blog makes people thing of dykes doing it.
3. banghard, lacey – I like this one because of the way they’ve searched it surname, first name. Like a school register. It’s probably the most proper porn search in the history of porn searches. I also refuse to believe that’s her real name.
4. selfie lesbian orgies – This must be a new niche of porn yet to make it mainstream. I assume it’s just a load of lesbians, doing it and taking selfies. It’s quite self explanatory, but lesbians again? Why do people keep going from me to lesbians?
Now these next two might have been legit searches for blogs I’ve written, but I can’t be 100% because I know what you’re like.
5. gay people doingit – First of all buddy, ‘doing it’ is two words, but you might have been in a rush to jizz so I can forgive you this once. I’ve searched my blog for this and it might be in relation to this post (I’ll put the link here because you couldn’t find it with your shitty grammar):
6. lesbian fucking orgy war – This one I am unsure about as I tag every post “three-way lesbian fuck orgy” because it’s the sort of thing people Google (I also tag every post “kittens” for the same reasons) and I have a few blogs about war being a dick move. That being said, I did start using that tag because people search the internet for that shit, so I cannot be sure if it was a genuine mistake or not. Though I must say that lesbian fucking orgy war sound like the most full-on thing you could masturbate to.
7. pussy whsen its on its period – I’m pretty sure I already know what this guy/guyette was looking for, but once again, poor grammar means no results. They could be searching for Bloody Vaginas, Brilliant Puns & Letting Myself Down as that is, for some reason, my most searched for post, but they could also just be looking for some sick porno.
So there we have it! That’s 2014’s awful searches so far. You can see the last summery of accidental filth-searches here or you can click the little magnifying glass in the top right there and Google whatever your heart desires.