I feel really sorry for the US government. For at least ten years they’ve planned on invading Syria this month to fulfill their weird ambitions and now, thanks to God-damn peaceful means, they have to find any old excuse to start on Iran. (And in case any of you were wondering, Yes, that was a copy/paste of a Facebook status update I did two days ago.)
But the good news is they’ve found it! Thank the heavens, they’ve found it! There’s a guy in american politics called, get this, Lyndsey Graham! Bah! I know, right? Lyndsey! The only other Lyndseys I know are girls or women. Anyway, enough of mocking his junkie parents decision to name him a lady, let’s get to the weird things he’s said.
He gave a speech the other day just like any other speech anyone else in American politics ever gives. He basically said “If we don’t go and kill some people who don’t need killing then some other third-party will come and kill you.” You know what those crazy Yanks are like. Alright, that’s not quite what he said, that’s just the base that all their “reasonable arguments” are based on. what he said had more specifics. Incredibly suspiciously specific specifics…
He said that we need to invade Syria. We need to use forceful means to make Syria give up their chemical weapons right now. He then explained what would happen if forceful means weren’t used on Syria. He said that if Syria doesn’t get bombed until it’s no longer above sea-level (my words, not his) that Iran would think they could do whatever they want and then Iran will nuke South Carolina (his words, not mine). That’s a bit of a bold statement to say. I’ll see if I can find it for you…
I can’t find a transcript of it and I can’t be arsed to do it myself. You know how Google works. I don’t have to hold your hand all the way through the internet. Do it yourself. Anyway! The suspicious thing about this is…
On the day, the very day, he gave this speech a load of nuclear weapons were moved from a Texan military base where they have been stored for fuck-knows how long to, you guessed it, South Carolina! What a kooky coincidence! He says that unless the USA bombs the fuck out of a country that has done nothing wrong and murders their leader and places someone they approve of into power instead then a completely different country will nuke South Carolina, specifically Charleston Harbour and lo-and-behold! A load of nukes get sent there in a shady, signature-less black op on the very same day.
It’s called a False-Flag and every war ever was started with one. the only trouble with this one is it will start World war 3 with nukes and Russia and China and shit.
Al-Jazeera was on in the background when I was writing all that. It was a pretty full-on twenty minutes. It’s OK now though as I’ve put Adventure Time on in a bid to make everything a bit more light-hearted around here, but some crystal dudes are trying to turn Finn into a crystal and it’s just as intense. If not more intense because I like Finn & Jake more than I like America.
I like Americans, though. Americans are usually awesome people. It’s just the corporate machine called America I hate.
I think I need a lay down.