250 Deaths-by-Dick & A Word of Advice to Hollywood.

Murder. Who’d have thought it could be such a thrill? Not real murder. Computer game murder. Real murder is far too messy. Unless you used a piano wire or a hospital pillow I suppose, but most murder is knives. Computer game murder isn’t messy at all though! (apart from I did spill my tea on my bed shooting some guy in the throat) And you don’t have the guilt and moral bankruptcy to deal with either. For example, today I murdered about four-hundred people, but they were all connected to an organ trafficking ring so they deserved to die. I also unlocked an achievement. That achievement was for killing over 250 people with gunshots to the groin. That’s a pretty good achievement in a game but if you shot 250 people in the dick in real life that would just make you a fucking douche.

“The Great Escape”? More Like “Living the Dream at the Taxpayers Expense”

Holla back, Gurl! How’s it going? I really want to complain about something but I can’t think of what’s pissing me off at the moment. There’s probably something. There’s always something. I really do love a good moan. I don’t know what it is, but something about moaning about other people’s stupid opinions really does make my day. But I cannot currently recall what pisses me off.