“The Great Escape”? More Like “Living the Dream at the Taxpayers Expense”

Holla back, Gurl! How’s it going? I really want to complain about something but I can’t think of what’s pissing me off at the moment. There’s probably something. There’s always something. I really do love a good moan. I don’t know what it is, but something about moaning about other people’s stupid opinions really does make my day. But I cannot currently recall what pisses me off.

I’ve been writing Derek! I’m enjoying writing Derek. It’s fun. And I have no idea what I’m doing with it. Earlier I started watching “The Great Escape” to try and get some inspiration for god-awful war and torture  but did you know it turns out that P.O.W camps really weren’t that bad. They actually seem like quite charming places to live if that film is anything to go by. There was once scene where they were all out in sun, all lovely, with a big, massive barrel of water to help them cope with the heat, and they were planting little flower gardens outside of their log cabins. They all had their correct uniforms on, all clean and smart, and looked incredibly healthy. Some were even wearing lavish amounts of make-up!

I remember being taught in school that these P.O.W camps were awful, awful places. People would be murdered and tortured and it was just horrible. Now, here I am, a full ten years after leaving school, watch a film that was based on actual events tell me a whole other side of the story. What  was taught in school came from books. Worthless, untrustworthy, meaningless words that any old fool could have written. This film came from Hollywood and it is based on actual events. not some shitty book with shitty pictures. Hollywood and actual events.

So yeah. they had a pretty decent lifestyle. There was one quip off a Nazi officer (by the way all the Nazi officers are rather polite and often have the odd conversation with the ‘prisoners’ and almost always exchange pleasantries like ‘hello’ and ‘oh, hello again!’) about them not eating but a few scenes later one of the ‘prisoners’ gets loads of chocolate and marmalade. These are all just lovely things. A cabin in the sun, no over-crowding issues like I was told at school, exerciser outdoors planting flowers in the front lawn of your home in the sun, marmalade, chocolate, just you and your mates. I’m not saying you could live there forever, but it’s a much better way to spend the war than actually being in the war. The worst their situation got was when they were digging the tunnel and shit, and then the actual escape bit after that. Now, call me old fashioned, but I think that if the process of escaping and then the actual having escaped bit are worse than your current living situation, don’t bother. It’s just not worth the effort.

Maybe the ‘P.O.W’ camp was actually just a holiday village called “The Great Escape” and the film was about people playing war and it all got mixed up? No, no. Hollywood wouldn’t lie. That evil-doing is for Disney. Not Hollywood.

But! What I am trying to say, I suppose,  is;

We have two different versions of events from two different sources put before us. We have:

1. Teachers with a book. A book that anyone can write and anyone can say anything. Foolish bits of stupid paper.
2. Hollywood and actual events.

You can probably guess who I’m going to go with. Now I ask the question of if they were willing to lie about the history of World War 2 to me then what else did they lie to me about?

I bet osmosis isn’t even a real fucking word.