Tag Archives: sex

Christmas is Dead & The Weirdest Blowjob of 2014.

So there we go. That was Christmas. How was yours? Worth it? Probably not. They never are. I woke up in a cold house on my own and all I got was a convection heater I bought myself, so I guess you can say it might have been one of the best Christmases I’ve ever had. Also, as I wasn’t in my mothers house I didn’t have to listen to a single bit of shit music all day. Christmas is so much better when Adele is out of the equation.

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Sobering Up & Cheering Up or; Cancer! Booze! Misery!

This is the first time I’ve woken up on a Saturday and not felt like shit in ages! It’s pretty cool. I decided not to drink for a while, but let me just explain now it hasĀ nothing to do with that marketing campaign that cancer charity has come up with. Stoptober or some shit. Anyway, don’t buy into that. It’s a multi-billion pound industry that has absolutely no plans on curing cancer. If they did they would have done some research into some of the things that are actually very successful at curing cancer and stick with that, not fuck around with pointless new technologies that have minimal success rates.

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Miles Lloyds Super Sexy Internet Accidents of 2014!

Oh, hello! I didn’t see you there, please, step into what most of you believe to be some weird sex dungeon. That’s right! It’s that time where I tell you all the weird sex things people have been searching my blog for thinking they’re searching Google. Oh, how I love your foolish, foolish mistakes. Some of you are right dirty perverts though, I must say. What I can’t work out though is why you’d be reading some of my posts and then you immediately go looking for absolutely disgusting porn. Continue reading

Lazyness, AIDS & Kids Cartoons

Hello there, Internets! How the devil are you? I’ve not done this “blogging” thing in quite a while, but don’t be mad for I have a very good reason…

You ever heard of a cartoon called Regular Show? I hadn’t either until about two weeks ago and now, whenever I come online with intentions of being productive, I fuck it all off and marathon that cartoon. It’s properly, properly banging good.

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Twerking a Selfie, or; I’ve Come This Close to Giving Up.

I just found out that words like ‘twerking’, ‘selfie’, ‘girl-crush’, ‘LOL’ and ‘BFF’ have been added to the dictionary and the word ‘literally’ has a new meaning now. According to the dictionary literally means;

In a literal manner or sense; exactly: “the driver took it literally when asked to go straight over the traffic circle”

And it also means;

Used to acknowledge that something is not literally true

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What’s Going on in Your Local Area? or: Guess The News!

I’ve come up with a brilliant new game I’m going to start playing. what I do is:

You know those posters outside of shops with one of the local headlines on it? Well you have to guess the story. Sometimes the headlines are brilliantly vague and I’m not sure whether-or-not it’s deliberate, so instead of buying the paper to find out I’m just going to make it up here for you. It’s probably more fun than the actual story as the news here can be either very depressing or very boring. I’m going to start with yesterdays headline: Continue reading

Tight Leather Trousers & Sex with Walls or; Science is a Mans Game.

Today, as I was skateboarding around town, I realised something. Twenty-six years of age isn’t too old to be skateboarding as some people might think but it is, however, too old to be shit at skateboarding and that kinda sucks balls. Because I’m shit at it.

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