Full-of-Shit Kids or; Giant Spider? Holy-Fuck!

One of the kids next door claims to have invented a ray-gun. I think he’s full of shit. There is no way a kid, who going by his voice (I have never seen him, just heard him over the wall from next door) is only about eight years old can begin to fathom the physics involved in making a ray-gun. They are near-enough impossible to make. The US military has only recently tested a laser gun they have, but this is the closest humanity can get to a raygun. Scientist tried to make real actual rayguns just prior to WW2 but ended up with radar. Fools. Fucking fools. what use is radar compared to a ray-gun?

Why do children feel the need to lie like that? It’s awful. When I was a kid kids use to be so much more lovable and trustworthy. There were the odd few occasions where one kid at a party might have to much cake and start acting up, but that’s about it. It’s just not like that anymore. It’s like all the kids have had all the cake all the time. Just look at the sales of baby-monitors. If babies could be trusted we would’t need to monitor them. If not even parents can’t trust them then how am I, an eavesdropping neighbour, suppose to trust them?

This cunt probably lied to get those crisps.

On a lighter note today I stumbled across what might be the demise of humanity. Real scientists, unlike that fucking joker next-door, found a fossil of a sea scorpions claw which is believed to be old as fuck. Like, dinosaur old. Anyway, going by the size of the claw the actual scorpion was about eight-foot long. This is terrifying because science always though arthropods, shit like crabs and spiders and lobsters and what-not, could not grow to become too big and this find has shat all over what they though.

The article I was reading reminded me of these urban legend kind of things from tribes in the Congo. They have always said there were spiders in the jungle that were about five-foot long when you include the legs. They insist that these giant spiders are real, but us westerners with our science knew for a fact that a spider that big couldn’t exist. Well, now we know that that fact is wrong and so these adamant tribesmen might very well be right about these giant spiders.

Fucking five-foot spiders. Just take a moment to think about that. “J’ba FoFi” they call them. It translates directly into English as “Holy. Fucking. Shit.” or I imagine it is anyway as that is all I would be able to say if I saw one. I’d say that a lot thought to compensate for all the words I’m not saying.

So yeah. Kids are full of shit and giant spiders could exist. But only in Africa. For now.

Australia has never seemed so inviting.