Game-Changers, Quicksand & More Cats!

“What going on?” I hear you ask? All of it. It’s all going on. You name it, it’s either going or gone on. That’s what’s going on. I’m sat out the garden… on the internet! I had no idea it worked out here. It’s a game-changer, ladies and gentleman. A god-damn game-changer! I just wish I’d found out before the end of august. It’s the kind of thing I’d have liked to know at the start of the summer, when being in the garden was at its peak.

When Aliens Attack! or; Chocolate Action Party!

You know I like the best about clear nights? It’s looking at the stars. But stars are for gays. I ignore the stars. I like it because you see weird shit if you properly pay attention.

You see things that look like little stars, but then you notice they’re moving. I’m not saying there’s lots of them, but you can see them every time if you pay attention. Have a good look up one night for about half an hour and I’m guaranteeing you will see at least one. I just saw two weird things. Both looked like little stars. One was flying across the sky pretty quickly and moving all odd. The other just appeared out of no-where then flew forward a bit before turning back on its-self quite sharply and shooting off.

The Worst, And Only, Thing I’ve Done With a Dead Cat.

I just remembered something disgusting, and morally corrupt, I once did with a dead cat. Before we go any further I just want to point out it was nothing sexy. I didn’t get sexy with a dead cat, so stop that thought right now.

A Lesson in Glowing or; Ice Cream Vans!

There are two things wrong with this day. First of all, there’s an ice-cream truck going round. I know the spring equinox was yesterday and all that, but it’s still pissing it down and freezing cold, not to mention windy as shit.  Why would anyone possibly want to run outside to get an ice-cream? By the time you got it into your house the wind or rain would have seen it off. Poof! Ice-cream gone. Just like that. So obviously what’s happening is they’re selling drugs and I’ve just missed out on buying drugs. This is Pen-y-Fan, too, so you know they get the good stuff. Like dirty heroin and bad acid.