Tag Archives: cold

Tomatoes, Tea & The Most Disgusting Thing I’ve Done Since Saturday.


First of all I’d like to find out if anyone else knows what the fuck is wrong with the bakeries in Berlin. Half a slice (that’s right, half a slice. As in a thin semi-circle of tomato) is not enough for a baguette. And, on a similar subject, four inch-thick cuts of cucumber (four slices at an inch each, not one slice at four inches. That would be thicker than the baguette, you fool) is far too much to be in the same baguette. It’s just not fucking cricket. I want the vitamins in the tomato. I’m ill (physically ill not Beastie Boys ill) and I’m trying to be responsible about it but staying in bed and eating healthy things but sometimes I feel like the bakery by my house just want’s me to die from a fibre and cucumber overdose. And while we’re at it, sort your fucking cheese out. What you sell isn’t cheese, Germany. It’s just thin slices of stiff milk. Also your crisps suck and paprika isn’t a proper flavour and it’s called a bell pepper not a paprika.

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(Spencer) Miles Lloyd and his Fancy New Word.


Everyone is ill! All I can hear from downstairs is coughing and I’m not enjoying it. I don’t want to get ill. I hate being ill. I use to love being ill as a kid though. How come if you’re sick as a child you get all the McDonalds and sweets and fizzy-pop your tiny heart desires? That’s exactly the stuff you shouldn’t be having when you’re ill. Apart from the McDonalds. That’s the sort of stuff you shouldn’t be having anyway. If your sick as an adult you get nothing and everyone moans at you and you’re probably not even allowed into a McDonalds.

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