First of all I’d like to find out if anyone else knows what the fuck is wrong with the bakeries in Berlin. Half a slice (that’s right, half a slice. As in a thin semi-circle of tomato) is not enough for a baguette. And, on a similar subject, four inch-thick cuts of cucumber (four slices at an inch each, not one slice at four inches. That would be thicker than the baguette, you fool) is far too much to be in the same baguette. It’s just not fucking cricket. I want the vitamins in the tomato. I’m ill (physically ill not Beastie Boys ill) and I’m trying to be responsible about it but staying in bed and eating healthy things but sometimes I feel like the bakery by my house just want’s me to die from a fibre and cucumber overdose. And while we’re at it, sort your fucking cheese out. What you sell isn’t cheese, Germany. It’s just thin slices of stiff milk. Also your crisps suck and paprika isn’t a proper flavour and it’s called a bell pepper not a paprika.
Tag Archives: Cheese
Yesterday someone asked me not to be “super sexy funny online”. that’s not a bad request, although I had no idea my blog was super sexy. You can’t even see my face on here. well, you can, but I’m five and ginger. Maybe they think five year-old, ginger Miles is super sexy and twenty-seven year-old miles is the funny bit? that’s odd though. you can’t think ginger kids are sexy. Although, in my defence I have never been ginger. I was blonde when I was a kid but I just look like a ginger in that photo. Probably because of the lighting in the tent I’m chillaxing in. Continue reading
I just put some mild cheddar in my toastie and when I was eating it all I could think was, “What’s the point? What is the point of having a mild cheddar?” It’s just texture, init? That’s all it adds is texture. You can’t taste cheese. No matter how much you put in all it will add to you’re toastie is rubbery goo. I don’t mind mild cheese when it’s like a brie or something but mild cheddar just pisses me off.
Yet I continue to eat it.