Tag Archives: america

Spying, Sharting & Stupid Blind Kids.


Oh, hello! I didn’t see you there. I was just reading to blind children. Jokes! I’d never read to blind children. Or would I? I think I would, but I’d only do it on my own terms. Like, they could only have a book read to them that I want to read. No shitty fucking kids books about pandas getting sticky fingers from too many jam sandwiches or some arse-fart like that. Something good, like Kill Your Friends or the “Room 101” bit from 1984. Properly freak those blind kids out. I’ll have them wishing they were deaf in no time at all. Then I’d never get asked to read to blind kids ever again. It’s like when someone asks you to do the dishes so you do a shitty job so they don’t bother asking you again. Foolproof.

Continue reading

Advertisements

Hey, Racist! Read This! or; I Can play the Keyboard Now.


So some dude got killed in London today, eh? Not very shocking, I know. But the man was a soldier and he was killed… by terrorists! Duh-duh duh! This, I see, has apparently given everyone on Facebook and Twitter free-roam on the ignorant racism train and it’s not got no breaks! Now, I’m not one to force my opinions onto someone. Unless I had a dog or something. You kinda have to teach a dog how to live like not shit in the kitchen and that, but you know what I mean. I just want to make a point that I can’t understand so many people don’t realise.

Continue reading

Full-of-Shit Kids or; Giant Spider? Holy-Fuck!


One of the kids next door claims to have invented a ray-gun. I think he’s full of shit. There is no way a kid, who going by his voice (I have never seen him, just heard him over the wall from next door) is only about eight years old can begin to fathom the physics involved in making a ray-gun. They are near-enough impossible to make. The US military has only recently tested a laser gun they have, but this is the closest humanity can get to a raygun. Scientist tried to make real actual rayguns just prior to WW2 but ended up with radar. Fools. Fucking fools. what use is radar compared to a ray-gun?

Continue reading

Miles Lloyd Presents; Political Poetry From The Soul, For The Soul.


I found a poem I wrote on a train once about Tony Blair. I was watching a lot of Rik Mayall at the time.

Continue reading

Bombs, Terrorists & That Bitch Anne Frank.


Before I go off on one, although I will probably just go off on one with this instead, I’m listening to news reports of the bombing at the Boston Marathon and a news reporter just said;

“The most surprising thing about it is it’s usually such a friendly and lively event.”

Ok. What are you trying to say? Are all the other marathons, or any charity fundraiser for that matter, not usually very friendly or lively? I haven’t been to many but I’m pretty sure a “friendly and lively” Marathon isn’t surprising. At all. I was actually thinking of going to the London one Sunday, but now the fear of god has been instilled into me, just like after 9/11 or the 7/7 attacks when you got nervous seeing a Muslim on a bus or some shit and be honest, it happened to the best of us. Which is beautifully ironic considering the people responsible for both those attacks were white. And Christian. And running the countries that fell victim. And now war-criminals. Because they murdered all the people not involved in the terrorist attacks for the terrorist attack. They also then went on to arm Al-Qaeda with guns and shit to take down Gaddafi. Because Gaddafi was actually a fucking dude and probably one of the best leaders any country has ever seen, but our lovely Western mainstream media couldn’t portray him that way so they jazzed it up and made him a cunt. Google that shit.

Continue reading

Cars and Explosions and Money and Shit.


It’s was a bitter cold December night and all the kids were parked up at Emerald Island like they usually were. Shooting the shit and racing their cars. They were really cool kids, too. Like, really cool. The kind you see hanging out by the lockers in Hollywood films that trip up the nerds that read books and shit. They didn’t give a fuck. Bets were being placed and money was passing hands. Marco, the coolest kid, had been winning shit all night long in drag races up Ridgeway Road and he had just made a ton of money. The chicks were all over him and everything.

Continue reading

The Remarkable Tale of (Spencer) Miles Lloyd & Those Krazy Koreans


I think I’m going to have to go and sort this little North Korea issue out. Why? Because they’re mental. That’s why. It’s all kicking off, eh? Kim Jong Un and his Backwards Band of  Merry Men are going to nuke the world and I’m pretty sure that Mr. Un has no fucking idea what he’s doing.

Continue reading