Gay people, eh! What’s all that about? They’re literally everywhere, making it rain and flood. The bastards. I remember when no-one was gay and our winters were so warm and sunny. They were literally like another spring, but without the spring showers, because gay’s didn’t exist. A Dutch scientist has worked out why people are gay though. It’s because their mothers smoked while pregnant with them. That’s right, if you smoke when you’re pregnant you make gay babies and those gay babies grow up to make our winters wet and cold. Yet another reason to ban fags. Gerrit? Ban fags! You don’t have to laugh, you just have to get it.
It all makes so much more sense now, doesn’t it? The reason earth is getting more rain is because more mothers smoke after being all knocked up. That makes so much more sense than the whole “carbon-dioxide-collecting-in-the-atmosphere-causes-more-heat-that-would-usually-escape-into-space-to-remain-here-thus-causing-more-water-to-evaporate-from-the-surface-of-earth-thus-causing-more-water-vapor-to-collect-in-the-atmosphere-which-in-turn-causes-more-cloud-cover-which-then-leads-to-more-rainfall-in-an-endless-cycle” hippy mumbo-jumbo.
Maybe that’s the plan of the LGBT community? Get fucking banging awesome at swimming, flood the earth, wipe out the straight people, keep the a-sexuals as slaves, and turn the entire planet into one, big, night-club where the men have 12-our drag fashion shows and the lesbians get pregnant and smoke.
It’s mental though. The way people over-think gays. Some dudes love a sausage festival and some chicks love a fish market. That’s it. Why can’t people just leave it at that? It’s perfectly normal unless you’re incredibly ignorant and naive. I do have trouble understanding how gay guys have sex though. Do they just, like, knock cocks together like a couple of light-sabers? Or is there a way to fit one cock inside of the other cock that I don’t know about? I heard a funny joke about it once. This guy told me that they do it, get this, in the bum! Oh, how I laughed! In the bum! Honestly. Some people have the wildest imaginations.
Oh oh oh! I forgot to mention! That Dutch “scientist” who came up with that crack-pot theory? His name is… Dick Swaab! How amazing is that? No wonder he’s trying to find a cure for gays with a name like that. He probably is gay. I know that it isn’t a choice, but if my name was Dick Swaab I would try my hardest to become a homosexual just because it’s a waste of the name otherwise. Maybe he is and he’s just that far in denial? He must be. Sometimes you meet people who are so homophobic you can’t help but think to yourself “This guy’s hiding something,” and though you can’t know for sure, it’s easy to assume what he’s hiding is a vibrating egg. In his bum.