The God-Damn Job Centers Robot Army & Why I should Tidy my Room.


God-damn I HATE the fucking Job Center. I hate it so much! I only ever deal with them on the phone and it does my fucking nut in. Where did all this automated phone shit come from? Why the fuck do I have to talk to a robot that never understands anyone? Earlier on “she” asked me to tell her my postcode, then started giving me examples of postcodes. This is great because being patronised by machines is what I love. My favourite bit is how, after seven attempts to say “S A fifteen”, it finally gave up trying to understand me and said “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. Thank you for your call. Good-bye!” No! No! This is mental. You spend fucking ages dealing with a machine and the only thing that machine does is put you through to a human who is blatantly in a room full of other humans in one of many call centers, so why not just put me straight through to a human? If I wanted to get enraged with machines I’d have taken loads of acid and put a Pixar film on.

On a brighter note though, I just found out I can put a video on Youtube on my laptop and it will play on my fucking X-Box! That is amazing. The future is amazing. I hope Terminator doesn’t happen though. I don’t want that kind of future. Maybe more like that film “Sleeper”. Yeah. that would be a better future. The kind of future where smoking fags is good for you and Woody Allen isn’t a weird pervert.

No, no. Forgive my earlier enthusiasm. I might be able to play videos on my X-Box by selecting them on my laptop but to use the internet I have to use that god-damn bastard Internet Explorer. The modern worlds biggest joke. It’s actually not so bad on the X-Box to be fair. Maybe Google need to make a games console. Yeah! that would be banging! That’s what I’m going to do today. I’m going to make a Google games console.

I should tidy before that though. that TV show I’m not allowed to talk about is coming round inabit.

But I should buy some fags before that.

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