Epic Cow Farts, Syphilis & Here Comes the Mental!


So scientists have come to the conclusion that humans are the main cause of global warming. I don’t know why this is news or why it took them so long. I feel like they should all have their degrees taken away for ignorance.

Of course it’s humans fault. That whole “cows fart a lot” and “the earth spews out methane” thing probably has quite a lot of ground, but if these people, who I put all my faith and trust in, literally cannot see the hundreds of millions of cars knocking about or all the factories or the thousands of nuclear bombs that have gone off or all the oil wells or all the aerosols being used by more people than you’d care to shake a stick at then maybe I should just buy a bible and call it a day. Does anybody else think it’s as absurd as I do? I mean, until I read this thing in the news yesterday about the UN coming to the conclusion that humans are the main cause of global warming I thought the general consensus was that humans were the main cause of global warming.

But this is where it gets a bit tricky. I can’t trust the UN. If you had a gang of dudes living down the street from you who’d go around busting heads and called themselves “peace-makers” you’d think they were having a massive laugh at your expense. Because they would be. Also, anyone who is too quick to defend themselves is up to something. A quick look at http://www.unausa.org has a page all about Agenda 21 and how it isn’t true. For those of you that don’t know what Agenda 21 is, it’s an agenda that pretty much outlines the de-population of the human race. Sounds a bit mental, I know, but at the start of the page where they’re so quick to defend themselves it says:

All great conspiracy theories live on for years – long after they have been debunked. Cultural lore in the U.S. dates back to our country’s founding. Nearly everyone has heard about George Washington cutting down a cherry tree as a kid, or that he had wooden teeth (both false). Some have suggested John Wilkes Booth worked with Confederate leaders to plot the assassination of Abraham Lincoln (Interesting, but not true).

Quite right, United Nations. Quite right. although there’s a few things you need to know, you fools. George Washington cutting down a tree isn’t a conspiracy theory. Neither is the fact he did or did not have false teeth. these are just silly little stories or “rumours”. Here are some examples of actual conspiracy theories:

  • MK-ULTRA (Mind control)
  • Tuskegee Syphilis Study (Giving African people syphilis)
  • Operation Ajax (Anglo-american attempt to overthrow the leader of Iran)
  • Bay of Pigs invasion (Botched attempt at invading Cuba)
  • Operation Mockingbird (Well kown writers, such as George Orwell, becoming paid Shrills on the CIA payroll)
  • Manhattan Project (Making the first Atomic Bomb)
  • Asbestos (Companies lying and saying “It’s fine! chillax!” for 30 years)
  • Watergate (Need I explain?)
  • Operation Northwoods (The US creating terrorist attacks on the US and blaming Cuba)
  • The 1990 Testimony of Nayirah (A 15 year old girl was hired to lie in court about things she’d seen Iranian soldiers do)
  • Gulf of Tonkin (two ships that never existed were blown up by the Vietnamese)
  • 1993 WTC attacks (the CIA hired goons to explode a bomb in the WTC)
  • Enron (We all know Enron)
  • Operation Snow White (Scientology being dicks and stealing shit off of the IRS)
  • The NWO (Kennedy gave a pretty dramatic speech about this and it eventually got him killed)
  • Bohemian Grove (“It doesn’t exist. Nothing weird happens. It doesn’t exist, honest. alright, it exists and we do weird shit there”)

So yeah, that’s a list of some examples of these wacky conspiracy theories that have lived on for years long after they have been debunked. Oh, but wait! They totally haven’t been debunked! They’re all proven to be true and that’s just a small handful of the dodgy shit that goes on. People got called mental for thinking those things were conspiracies until official documentation came out about them all. Now who’s laughing? That’s right. The mentalists are laughing because they’re not mental anymore.

That’s one of the few good things about politics. after 50 years, even the most secretive of secret papers has to be made public. Even if most of it is blacked out to the point where it’s rendered meaningless.

The bastards.

(I can probably throw the 9/11 and the 7/7 attacks into that list too because, let’s not kid ourselves, they were a stitch-up.)

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