9/11 Witness Testimonies as Regurgitated by Miles Lloyd or: It’s Not as Bad as It Sounds

I just watched a fucking banging documentary (A factual film based on facts but without acting or actors) about some guys who got all fucked up on the 9/11 “terrorist” attacks. To cut a long story short, fourteen people were inside the north tower when it collapsed. Inside it! And survived. Survived! Think about that.

There was a gang of firemen, I think they were from Ladder 6 of the NYFD, and they were doing their bit trying to save peoples lives and all that but it’s one of the most insane situations I have ever heard of anyone to be in. Right…

We all know what happened on 9/11 I assume. Some planes flew into some buildings. Well, two 747’s smashed into the tallest buildings on earth, but you get the gist. anyway! A gang of firemen went full-on Chuck Norris and they were all like “Fuck this shit! I’m going to beat this fire in the face until something bleeds” and they fucking walked up fucking sixty floors to punch fire in the fucking mouth. Already a pretty bad-ass story, eh? Well put your seatbelt on, buddy! Shit is about to get Japanese porno crazy…

They were walking up that fucking mental amount of stairs and on the way they bumped into this lovely old black women, Josephine Harries (who, I must add, has the most fantastic hair I have ever seen), and her leg was all fucked up. not fucked up from being sat almost directly in front of a fucking 747 smashing into a building at over 500 mph, no. No no. That didn’t affect her. She was fine from that. That was all in a days work for her. It was an old injury that caused her grief.

Anywhoo, these firemen saw her and helped her get down some stairs and they were halfway down the north tower and it all started vibrating and shit. turns out it was vibrating because the south tower collapsed. “Fuck this shit!” said the guy in charge of the fireman, “We need to ditch this joint and get the hell out of here”. This was good advise, as the building they were in had plans to collapse, too. They fucking bolted as fast as they could and then when they were in the stairwell (B), on the third floor, the entire building collapsed on them. Fucking, the whole god-damn thing! They were literally buried under 110 floors of concrete and shit. To put that into perspective for me, I don’t think I’ve ever been in a building more than 10 floors high, so I can’t really see the perspective I gave myself, but I know it’s insane. They were inside the tallest building on earth, just after a plane had smashed into it, walked up and then down 60 floors, then had the whole thing fall and they all walked out relatively unscathed. Like, no broken bones or anything. To put that into perspective for me again, I have broken my left arm four times and every time it was from falling from no higher height than a curb.

I’m just really impressed by the entire thing. Regardless of whether you think Bin Laden did it or the Bush Administration did it (It was the Bush Administration) It was a pretty fucking epic day. I don’t mean epic like a banging good party where there’s free shots and girls getting off with each other by the toilets, I mean epic as in you could tell someone who didn’t know about 9/11 the story of 9/11 and they would tell you to “fuck off” then say “that couldn’t have happened” and then tell you not to “be mental”.

But it turns out they are the mental ones. I mean, honestly! Who doesn’t already know about 9/11?


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