Twerking a Selfie, or; I’ve Come This Close to Giving Up.

I just found out that words like ‘twerking’, ‘selfie’, ‘girl-crush’, ‘LOL’ and ‘BFF’ have been added to the dictionary and the word ‘literally’ has a new meaning now. According to the dictionary literally means;

In a literal manner or sense; exactly: “the driver took it literally when asked to go straight over the traffic circle”

And it also means;

Used to acknowledge that something is not literally true

That is fucking mental. ‘Literally’ literally means both literally and not literally. what has happened to language? All the words I’ve listed up there that have been added are only ever used by people who don’t have a fucking clue how spelling and grammar works anyway! It’s mental. I bet you a pound that 100% of people who use the word ‘twerking’ in everyday conversation can’t use a comma and don’t have a fucking clue what a hyphen looks like.

You know what I think needs to be a word? No, I’ll rephrase that; you know what I cannot believe isn’t a word already? Willn’t. As in will not. That makes sense to me. That seems like it should always have been a thing. If don’t, didn’t, shouldn’t, wouldn’t and all the rest be words, why leave out willn’t? That’s actually pretty practical as far as new words go. It’s better than ‘grrrl’. Seriously, that’s also in the dictionary now. It means you’re an independent woman, because the term ‘independent woman’ is just too much to take.

So there we are. Welcome to the future. Next time you want to have a go at someone for having a god-awful grasp of the English language and not the faintest idea of the written word just remember that it’s actually you that doesn’t have a fucking clue. They’re being progressive and actually aiding the the future of our species while we just cling on to the past, saying stupid things like “That was pretty funny” instead of “ROFLCOPTERZ!” or “Do you want to go for a drink sometime? You’re pretty cool.” instead of “YO HO COME MIN ND TWRK MA JUNK AND GET DRINK AWN ND DNT WER CONDOMS COS THN MTV BE ALL LIK U WNT UR OWN SHOWZ AND WE BE LIK YEA AND THN WE BE RICH AND FAMUZ LIKE KANYE AND KIM FUK SKWL LOLZ!”


2 responses to “Twerking a Selfie, or; I’ve Come This Close to Giving Up.


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