Heroin, Glee & I’m Going to Fuck Up Your Kitchen.


So one of the guys from ‘Glee’ is dead then, eh? Misadventure strikes again! That’s what it’s called, isn’t it? ‘Misadventure’. When you die from taking drugs and that. It’s a pretty awesome term. Very apt. I’d prefer the expression “funned himself to death” as in he had so much fun he died. Because he probably did. If you take heroin chances are you have a laugh when you’re on it and you can’t have a laugh without fun, therefore, he was funned to death. He funned himself. It has a nice ring to it.

I hope parents all over the world stop their kids from watching episodes of Glee now. Because that guy, Cory Monteith, was a good-for-nothing dirty junkie and he should be thrown in the pile with other good-for-nothing dirty junkies, like Kurt Cobain, Pete Doherty and Lou Reed, and his work should be protested by mothers with their childrens “best interests” at heart until every episode of Glee ever made is ripped from the shelves and thrown into the streets where the entire human race shall bond over burning them and shitting on them and then burning the shit they shat on them.

No, probably best not. I’m just trying to make a point about how some people get pretty bad stick for taking drugs and it gets taken too far when there are plenty of other people who do just the same and a bad word will never be said. An example of this is how my dad wont listen to The Libertines because “they’re the ones with that dirty smackhead” but he will spend most of his life listening to David Bowie who would routinely take so much of the ol’ “Mrs. Brown” he’d think Iggy Pop was attractive enough to fuck. So what’s worse? A man who takes heroin who started winning international poetry awards when he was just 13 years of age or a man who takes heroin so he can be fucked up enough to slide it into Iggy Pops anal glands? I’d pick poetry awards over Iggy and his crusty bum’ole any, and every, day of the week.

Or my mother. She thinks anyone with dreadlocks is a filthy junkie but she thinks Whitney Huston is awesome fun and that Amy Winehouse is a fucking saint. It’s weird, init? How people get judged. Everyone who takes heroin is a fucking filthy junkie, it just comes down to whether-or-not you like what they do when they are trying to avoid that feeling of bugs crawling under their skin and the sweats.

I can’t stop thinking about The Libertines now. God-damn how I love The Libertines. You should, too. You don’t have to like Dirty Pretty Things or Babyshambles (That’s an awesome name, by the way) but you better love The Libertines or I’ll find out where you sleep, come round and fuck your kitchen up so bad you can’t have breakfast before you go to work, you shits.

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