Your Money, My Cats & A Whole Heap of Sperm!

Getting shit done! By that I mean I’m drawing shit. not an actual shit. Well, maybe. Who knows? I’ve decided to start designing, then printing, T-shirts and selling them on to you for cash money. Like, a million pounds a print? Nah, jokes. That seems a bit steep. I’ll figure out the prices another time. I’ll work on the designs first. I want lots of cats doing housework, because if the internet has taught me anything it’s that cats sell. Bitches love cats, Dawgs love cats, even your Nan loves cats! Your Nan wont buy one of my T-shirts, though, what with all the swearing and turds that will probably be on them. And sperm, knowing me.

I also run the risk that everyone who read my blog is as poor as me and will never want to buy them. In which case I will have to ask you politely to stop coming here as you are no use to me. Jokes again! I like you like the rain likes Ireland. I imagine it’s a lot but I’ve never been to Ireland so I can’t make an educated guess. I do know a few Irish people though and one of them was wet once, so I think I’m probably right. Though he was wet in Edinburgh. Maybe I need to work on my analogies. If it’s even an analogy. It might be that other thing that starts with an ‘m’ but I’ve forgotten what it’s called. It’s probably an analogy. I’m not often wrong.

Jokes again! I’m usually wrong! It can be very embarrassing  but when I’m right I make sure the whole god-damn world knows. I’ll never forget the last time I was right. It was March 2008 and I said to my mate “How’s it going? You alright?” and he said, “Yeah, I’m alright.” That felt good.

Anyway, that is all for today. I just wanted you to know my plans for taking your money to feed crystal meth/whore addiction.


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