First things first, why aren’t you still drunk and listening to Neutral Milk Hotel? You don’t know who they are? Then stop reading this, delete my Facebook and let me know so I can block you on Twitter. If you do know who they are then we should make out. Hard. Tongues and everything. Unless you’re a dude. Or weird looking. I think what I’m saying is if you’re a hot girl and listen to Neutral Milk Hotel I wanna make out with you. Actually, I don’t even care if you’ve heard of Neutral Milk Hotel. I just want to know what it feels like to make out with someone I find hot for a change.
I’m pretty confident I had my jaw hit with a fist last night. It really hurts. So do my legs. My left ankle, right knee and left thigh are fucked to bits. I really want to go down stairs to get a drink but I actually don’t want to face the pain. Now I can’t stop thinking about squash though so I’m gonna do it. I’m going to have a fag, too, to save having to face more pain later. See you inabit.
Bastards! I’ve lost my fags. This is why I hate you. Also, the ‘I’ key has fucked on my keyboard. That’s two of the vowels gone. That s not good. Vowels are pretty important. They make my world go round. Sometimes I imagine a word without vowels and I just want to die. That’s why I like Welsh so much. We’ve got like, seven vowels or something. I’m not sure. I can’t even speak Welsh. I wish I could though. Unfortunately I can’t because Thatcher happened. The cow. Nah, to be fair it wasn’t Thatcher. It was the last few hundred years of just general English-ness. You know what they’re like, going round imposing themselves on everyone else and claiming their land. Kinda like what America are now but more successful and they don’t have that Canadian accent.