That’s the Wettest I’ve Ever Been, and I’ve Had Sex in a Bath.


Once. I had sex in a bath once. I think. We might have stopped though because the bath was too small. Or was it my penis? I forget. Point is I walked in the rain for 14 miles earlier and got well wet. It wasn’t so bad at first, but then I started walking into the wind and it started doing all hail and shit and my forehead got well wet and then my brain got cold and I had to sit in a bus stop for a bit. I can’t complain though. It’s one of the better situations I’ve been in this year.

That’s a lie. this year hasn’t been so bad. If you’re one of the few people that’s been reading this thing you already know all this, so I’m not going to tell you everything again. I don’t want to be one of those fucking episodes of Friends where they show you everything you’ve spent the last fuck-knows how long watching. Why? Why are you doing this? Bad writing staff! Bad, bad writing staff!  Behave yourselves! You were doing so well!  Just have one less episode in the season, you dicks. The Simpsons have done it too and I hate Matt Groening a bit for that. Some other shows with lazy as fuck writing staff include:

  1. All in the Family
  2. Family Guy
  3. Three’s Company
  4. South Park*
  5. Cheers
  6. Avatar: The Last Airbender
  7. Community
  8. Star Trek
  9. Star Trek: the Next Generation
  10. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
  11. Animaniacs
  12. Frasier
  13. Seinfeld
  14. Everybody Loves Raymond
  15. Thunderbirds
  16. Stargate SG1
  17. Sex & the City (Although everything written for that was shit)
  18. Malcom in the Middle
  19. Scrubs

You get my point. every show is ruined with this god-damn episode! Why? It does my head in. But then again everything does my head in. I’m always angry or upset. For example, look how sad I am here being kissed by a pretty girl:

Why would someone do this to me?

And this is how I reacted when my friend asked me if I wanted to order pizza or  Chinese:

Who the fuck did he think he was?

And god-forbid you should buy me my favourite drink:

How many white Russians had to die for this?

How many white Russians had to die for this drink?

Yeah, so I think that’s pretty much my point. I like to moan. It is in my blood. If I’m not un-happy then I’m sad.

Now fuck off and live your lives. The world didn’t end. Do something fun. I’m going to make some food and then bitch about it.

*I would just like to point out that the south Park flashback episode is brilliant because every flashback ends with ice-cream and ice-cream is funny and fresh.

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