I Can Walk Again! It’s a Christmas Miracle!


It’s a miracle! A true Christmas miracle! Last night I prayed and I prayed to God to give me the strength to walk again and he answered!

Ha! Joke. I didn’t pray to god and even if I did it wouldn’t have made a fucking blind bit of difference. I could have prayed last night. I could have prayed for hours for God to heal me and when I woke up today I would have without-a-doubt believed it was my faith, and faith alone, that means I don’t need a crutch  today (Oh yes, by the way, my leg still fucking hurts. I just don’t need a crutch.). But I didn’t pray. I watched Adventure Time with Finn and Jake for hours instead. While watching it I consistently had the thought “I hope my leg gets better soon” going through my mind. Then I woke up and it did. It did feel better soon. Does this mean that Adventure Time with Finn and Jake answered my prayers? By the logic of a religious person, this would then in turn mean that they are real. Finn and Jake are real! Another Christmas miracle!

And I know how I am going to get my revenge on the guy who fucked my leg up. I am going to fill envelopes with glitter and mail them to him every now-and-again so that he opens them and gets glitter everywhere. And everybody hates glitter getting anywhere. It’ll be with him for weeks! Weeks! Mwahahahahaha!

I need tea.

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