I May Never Walk Again but my Hair Looks Better than Ever.


That’s right. I might never walk again. I was punched in the face and grabbed by the neck and then thrown down some stairs because people were being loud leaving somebodys party and I asked them to leave quietly as people were probably asleep in other flats. Then a guy in one of the other flats didn’t take kindly to this so he attacked me. This didn’t really do any damage though. In fact, I was fine after this.

Before this I was actually in the party and the guy whos flat it was is a… How can I put this? He is a FUCKING CUNT. He had originally punched, and cut, my nose. This was alright though. It was partly in jest but sometimes someone just doesn’t like you and they get more and more aggressive throughout the night. Then the jest ends and they decide to punch you as hard as they can in the thigh. If you are unfortunate enough to be me, (Spencer) Miles Lloyd this person will usually be something like a rugby player. Not this time though. This time he was a boxer. And a coke addict. Nobody should really take cocaine, let alone somebody who makes a hobby out of being overly aggressive. I got fucked up. I haven’t really been able to stand up for two days. This makes life all the more difficult when you’re a stand-up. I also can’t bend my leg to sit down, so I have to lay on my side while I type this and now I have a bad shoulder.

But my hair! My hair is at a length where I look fabulous. Maybe not to anyone else, such as sexy women, but to me I look like a dream. Most women don’t usually find me sexy anyway, what with having weird broken/missing front teeth and a pale, hairy body. Some women, not a lot and not often, but some women DO find me attractive enough to sleep with, but I appear less and less attractive to them as the pitiful sex begins and never really finishes. Well it does finish. Of course it finishes. I would still be having sex with the first person I ever had sex with if it never finished. I’m glad I am not, by the way, as she was a truly awful person to both look at and be around. So yeah, it does finish. Just not to anyones satisfaction.

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3 responses to “I May Never Walk Again but my Hair Looks Better than Ever.

  1. I have just today made a full recovery!

  2. Pingback: Sobering Up & Cheering Up or; Cancer! Booze! Misery! | The "Wonderful" World of (Spencer) Miles Lloyd

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