What what! how do we do? Good? Good! I’m off to Manchester today and I am very excited. Going to do a gig with some good friends i rarely see. I rarely see them not because I am a useless friend, but because I am ‘busy’. All the time. I am busy doing fuck all, granted. Well, I don’t do fuck all. I get myself in situations where I end up depressed, then blog about it on here so you can all enjoy my experiences too! I realized today that my best blogs are the ones where I’ve been hella down writing them and this is weird. It’s weird being upset, writing about it, then reading it back and laughing to myself while still upset then having you lovely people tell me just how funny it was to read about my problems. None of you ever offer to cheer me up though, you shits.

Jokes! Not one of you is a shit. In fact, I love you all! You are brilliant, beautiful people and make my world go round. Actually that’s all a bit much. You ain’t that great. Well, some of you are but most of you I probably haven’t even met, so I’m just working on the assumption that you are radiating beacons of joy until you upset me by swearing or kicking my cat. Not that I have a cat. I’d like one though. I’d like a cat a lot. I’d rather a dog though. I’ve always wanted to get a little pug and dress it up in a little black jacket like bouncers wear and have him stand around by my front door all day looking cool as fuck. And monkeys. I’d get two monkeys to also pretend to be bouncers and have little tiny doors put in for them to use. They’d be bad ass.

I seem to have a thing for monkeys today. Maybe my sub-conscious is replacing women with monkeys. A monkey’s never hurt my feelings. Well, apart from that one who cheated on me in the summer of ’96. When I was ten.

I hate monkeys.


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