Kentucky Fried Horse-shit.


I went to a KFC the the other day for the first time in fucking ages. I was a little bit excited. I don’t generally eat from places like this (McDnalds, Burger King, that’s it I think. That’s all the major fast-food outlets I can think of off of the top of my head) due to them being relatively shit. But KFC have a new burger out and it looks banging. It’s called “The Nacho Stacker”. Actually, this reminds me of one of the reasons I stopped eating from these god-awful places. I HATE asking for food was stupid fucking names. “Can I get the Big Daddy Burger, please?” Big Daddy burger? Big-fucking-Daddy Burger? That is ridiculous. It’s embarrassing to have to do. Nobody should be embarrassed while ordering food. It’s a human right. Why not just call it “A Chicken Burger with a Hash Brown in it? Not only is that not a stupid name, but it alls explains what you’ll be getting a damn sight more than the “Big Daddy”. It sounds like a huge, gay dominatrix dude wearing leathers, not a delicious, tasty chicken burger with an even tastier hash brown in it. I love hash browns and they love me.

I like to make hash browns, although I haven’t done so in a while. Four potatoes to one onion. Depending on the size of your onion. And potatoes. But here is a crucial tip fr you… Try not to strain the juices out of them with your favorite tea-towel. The colour of the combination of potato and onion juice is rather disgusting and it stains. I shall not try to desrcibe it as it may make me sick  I can’t get over how there is no ‘e’ on the end of the word ‘potato’. It doesn’t feel right without it. It feels wrong. Like two dudes doing it. Joke! Being gay is fine by me. But I’m not Jesus and it’s up to him at the end of the day, isn’t it?

I get to interview my first ever person tomorrow for a website. what what! I’m excited. Hopefully millions of people will see me having a chat with Tom Green. I wonder how many people will complain that they cannot understand me through my accent? I’m going to estimate 476,002. A nice round figure of complaints.

I just remembered that this post was suppose to be about how fucking disgusting KFC is, but I kind of got bored of that topic and sidetracked. As usual. Maybe, just maybe, eleven different herbs is just too many? Maybe, eight too many. just butter and garlic is good enough. For a colonel, you don’t seem to have much logical thinking.

Maybe I have a brain disease? Is awesome a brain disease?

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