Too Funny for Comedy.


I have never been so frustrated with someone in my life. God-damn you, certain girl! God-DAMN you! I’m suppose to be a “comedian” who writes “funny” “blogs” and all that, but recently I’ve turned into a manic depressive version of Daniel Johnston. At least the girl he lost probably wasn’t forced into not seeing him any more against her will because of a suffocating, jealous, controlling ex/current/soon-to-be(hopefully again)ex-boyfriend. For fucks sake! What has happened to me? I use to be so happy-go-lucky, foot-loose and fancy-free and now I’m a dribbling pair of swollen, sex-less balls. I am just so fucking frustrated at the fact someone can have so little self-respect that they are willing to do whatever they are told by someone they are not 100% sure about just because they are too scared to stand up for themselves. What makes this all worse is the fact they have admitted this to me several times, so these aren’t even just opinions! It is facts! Facts, I tell yaz! Facts!

I dunno. I should probably stop complaining. It’s just the fact that she has done things to me that he did to her when he dumped her so he could start taking heroin and start fucking this dirty hippy-chick that kinda confirms every one of her actions is his doing. I have better things to worry about though. Well, not better things to “worry” about. But better things to do. Not better. ‘Better’ is the wrong word. She was/is the better. I have more important things to do. That’s the one! “I have more important things to do”, like get rich and famous. That could be a tough one though, as I am too funny for comedy. That’s right. Too funny. This is why I am thinking of moving into drama. Like “Dr. Quinn; Medicine Woman”. I’m going to bring back that show. This has just become my new goal. Just then. As I wrote it. It was going to be “Mid-Summer Murders” but I thought “Dr. Quinn; Medicine Woman” would be a better reference to anyone reading this in another country. Like America or Canada because, and I still don’t understand this, that is where most of the people who read this shit are from. I’m pretty sure they have “Dr. Quinn…” over there. When I bring it back though it’s going to have a hell of a lot more explosions and rape scenes. And Dr. Quinn will wear nothing but knee-high boots, hot-pants and a black bikini top. And she’ll be Asian. Because Asians are my favourite. East or West. I’m honestly not bothered.

Just as long as they’re not white.

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