Today i was hungry for food so I decided to go somewhere to get some food. To eat. I’m staying in Hackney Wick at the moment which has pretty much everything you could ask for if you have never asked for anything in your life except a petrol station, so I went for a walk to Roman Road to go to this banging chicken place called Rockets or something. On the way there though I smelt chips. Pwoppa chips fwom a pwoppa chip shop. Needless to say I changed my mind completely and thought “fuck that peri-peri chicken. FUCK it! I’m getting me some sweet, sweet pwoppa Bwittish chips and some fucking saaaaaaaausaaaaaaaage, boooooooooooooooooi!” and I did. I did fuck that peri-peri chicken for sausage and chips. That’s when I stumbled upon this place:
The Saucy Kipper. 626 Roman Road. Just as I thought my day couldn’t get any better (I had woken up at about 6.45am because I had to leave the house I was staying in due to a urine malfunction. JOKEZ! LOLZAPALOOZA! It was because my ‘host’ was going away. And I had to be here at like, 9am anyway, so I guess I left because I had to leave. Lets just leave it at that. Leave. I’ve said it too much and now it sounds all fucked up. Anyway, I’m still in the brackets and it’s getting out of control, Stewart Lee style. Let’s get back to the tale, shall we?) I had found a pwoppa Bwittish chip shop! I’m going to the shop, but I shall return to finish this shortly.
I went in and said “Hello! My name is Miles and I would like some chips. With a sausage! Wrapped up to take home, please!” and the guy said “Together?” And I said “No, I’ll be going back alone” (Boom) anyway, I’m getting bored of this. Long story short he gave me a fucking cup of curry sauce and chips. I wasn’t too fussed ’cause I quite like curry sauce but this one was disgusting and I’m never going back. Fuckers.