How I Tried To Occupy the London Stock Exchange.


Today I went to join in with the the ‘revolution’. To be honest I was a bit dissapointed. It was twenty tents, about sixty people and four, maybe five coppers. The first thing that stood out was a big sign saying ‘WE ARE ANONYMOUS UK’. No your not. I know who you are now. you’re the first group of filthy, unemployable hippies you come to at Occupy London ‘Stock Exchange’. Note the inverted commas. These are because me and my mate Max went to the Stock Exchange. We were the only people there. Apparently me and Max are the 99%. Eveyryone else was too busy occupying St. Paul’s Catherdral. What I did like about that though was the amount of people wearing the Guy Fawkes masks off of of V for Vendetta, not knowing that guy Falkes worked for the Catholic church. He wanted to destroy Parliment so the Catholic Church could take over England and they had the bear-faced cheek to wear them outside a Christian church that Rev Giles Fraser kindly let the protesters camp outside and chill out inside after telling The Fuzz, in no lesser terms, to ‘jog on’. I can imagine him after doing that, buzzing like anything, with a pair of headphones on inside the church singing ‘Fu-fu-fuck the pow-leece! Fu-fu-fuck the Pow-leece!’ and lighting spliffs of smouldering bars of Nazi gold and tweeting ‘lols’ to his mates back in Rome.

It wasn’t what I expected at all though. Well, I just didn’t expect there to be such small number of people. there was a little crowd sitting in the corner listening to some speakers with a microphone but I didn’t watch that for long. They had absolutely no stage presence for a start and the sound was awful. Plus I have very little interest in politics so looking back I should have probably just stayed in Clapton.

Leave it to the rest of ’em, I say.

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One response to “How I Tried To Occupy the London Stock Exchange.

  1. stick it to em big man.

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